I think I think too much. Or maybe everyone's brain has this many thoughts, ideas, and emotions in it? After writing my first blog, a flood of things that I have been thinking about for the last year just came rushing back, so maybe this writing therapy will be a good thing. Just get it out, right?
First, I am sure that many people are wondering how Justin and I are holding up as a couple. Well..... I think we are doing pretty amazing all things considered. Yes, we both get frustrated, yes every so often we yell and scream and cry, but we always makeup and each time it seems to bring us closer and helps us understand what each other is feeling. There are moments where we both want to give up and throw in the towel, but then we remember how much love we have to give and that the end result is going to be amazing! We started this whole baby process right after we got married, and that is one piece of advice I would give to anyone who is just getting married, WAIT a year before you even start trying because it can get super stressful very quick if you don't get the results you want. But then again, it took us 2 years to finally get to this point, so if we would have waited a year before we started, it would have been 3 years before we would have gotten to this point, so actually I don't know. That brings me to my next thought and suggestion:
If you are 2 healthy partners and struggling to get pregnant, DO NOT do what I did. The rigor of tests, procedures and whatever else I went through the first 15 months was unnecessary. The only 2 simple tests that they need to suggest are an ultrasound (to get an ovarian reserve count), and the swab test to determine if you have the bacteria that can cause miscarriages. THAT IS IT! Those 2 super simple tests can be performed in 5 minutes, are totally painless, and can give you 99% of the most important information you need to know about female fertility. Forget all the surgeries, blood tests, poking, and prodding! This would have saved us over a year of frustration, money, pain, and emotion. But that isn't how the medical community works and here is why: (And mind you this is just my experience and opinion)
Obgyn's are taught that patients are supposed to try for 1 year before even having any tests done. But WHY? Why not talk to your patients when they decide to start trying and offer these 2 simple painless tests to their patients? This would at least give couples an idea where they stand. Hell, even if insurance doesn't cover it I think the tests are like $500. Hindsight, I would have gladly paid way more than that and saved a ton of heartache, time, and pain. Needles, Needles, Needles!
So to answer the question of why don't obgyn's offer these tests to their patients, the answer is simple, outdated teaching methods, no cooperation between obgyn's and infertility specialists, and most of all money. Obgyn's are taught in school that these rigorous tests, surgeries, and procedures are the first steps if someone has infertility. But it isn't true!! Technology has advanced, and these methods are not necessary (in most cases). So why do they still do them, plain and simple MONEY. Obgyn's want to exhaust every resource to make the most money, before they throw their hands in the air and say, "Well I am not sure what is wrong. Every test came back normal, Good Luck!"
Good luck?? Well what do I do now? I am the one who had to ask and suggest (after google researching), we try IUI. And what do I know? And once we exhausted the IUI route, I once again started asking questions and took it upon myself to suggest IVF to my obgyn and nurse practitioner. Well, I soon learned that the nurse practioner who was performing our IUI's did not like to hear the letters, I..V..F. She snapped at me on the phone and said, "Well I guess you have made up your mind, good luck!" What is with these people and good luck?!?
So we finally made it to the IVF doctors 1,2,and 3 and this is where we learned that they hate obgyn's and IUI clinics. So everyone hates everyone! Perfect! We are trying to make a harmonious process happen and create a baby and everyone in the industry hates each other? No wonder it took us 2 years to get to this point.
The point of all of this, is that this industry needs to change! Women are so misled, because no one wants to work together. I think it is greed, maybe I am wrong, but the evidence sure points in that direction. I know from my experience I sure would have rather had the simple tests done first, (which in my case were the only ones that gave us an answer).
Ok, I think I am hopping off my medical soapbox for the day. Ha! No more ranting! Happy blogs ahead!
Jenny
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