Today, I am feeling really sad. I have mentioned in my past blogs how after I stopped taking the steroid predisone suddenly I started experiencing some hair loss in July. The hair loss went up and down for about 6 weeks, and seemed to be getting better in August. I then started the birth control pills (2 a day) for 38 days and then did 6 days of injectible IVF drugs. Well the hair loss has increased noticeably in the last 2 weeks. Every time I wash my hair my hands are covered in hair in the shower. If I brush my hair when it is wet out of the shower the brush is full of hair and I can run my hands through my hair and I have a handful. If I brush my hair while blow drying it my brushes are completely full of hair and when I am done blow drying if I grab the ends of my hair I have another handful. It is really scary! So the last 5 days I have tried not washing my hair as much and not brushing it when it is wet or when blow drying, but I still seem to be shedding large amounts of hair. I have been wearing my hair pulled up because if not, my clothes are covered in hair. I am scared to death! The anxiety when I see it all falling out is almost paralyzing. I feel sick to my stomach. This is not what I signed up for. A girl's hair is her identity, and a part of who she is. I just feel ugly, and well.... like I want to cry. Actually I am crying as I sit here writing this. I have asked the nurse coordinator and the doctor about this and they don't seem too concerned. I have mentioned it in my last two appointments, and they seem to brush it off, and the nurse coordinator even said at my last appt, "Well you just might be a bald pregnant lady." Ummmmm, not cool with me!
So this morning I called the Dr's office again and spoke to the nurse coordinator and cried to her and told her I was really freaked out about how much hair was falling out. She said she didn't know what it was from, as it could be from any number of things, but that she would talk to the doctor about it this afternoon and get back to me. So, I will wait and see what he says. I am hoping he has a solution!!
Update: I just heard back from the doctor and he said I should do two things. One get some Rogaine Women at the store and start using that. Second, he said make an appt with my dermatologist right away to see if there is anything he can suggest. So I will start there.
As far as updates go on the IVF front here is what is new. After being canceled in September, the doctor said I would just go on to have a normal cycle/period. Well that didn't happen. My cycle was 34 days instead of the normal 26-28. Soooo, I thought maybe I got pregnant on my own!? On Thursday this past week (cycle day 32) I went into the doctor for an ultrasound and blood test to see what was going on . The doctor did the ultrasound first and for the FIRST time we had some good news! He looked at my uterus and the lining looked really good, and he thought I might be pregnant, (which we later determined I was not). He then looked at my right ovary and I had 4 follicles on it!!! Well if you remember during the beginning of the cycle with the drugs I only had 2 small follicles. The doctor was very happy to see 4 large follicles on the right and then also saw 2 decent sized ones on the left. He seems to think an answer to why we weren't seeing any growth with the drugs is that the BC pills screwed up my cycle days and what we thought was day 1 of my cycle really was NOT, and so we weren't stimulating on the right days. Anyway, he said this just shows that I am capable of producing at least 6 follicles, so he is confident if we can get the cycle days right we should have good stimulation and follicle response.
In regards to the medicine being tested, we are still waiting to hear. Apparently the process can take up to a month to complete. The doctor said we are still going to go with a different set of medicines for our IVF in November. (Well that is if I am cleared to do November's cycle) What does that mean? Well the doctor wants to try and NOT use BC pills to regulate my cycle this month, to get me on target for next month. He wants to try and have as natural a cycle as possible, because the birth control pills jacked everything up so bad last time. When I spoke with him a few minutes ago he said he wants to introduce progesterone on cycle day 14, for 10 days and then stop taking it and hopefully this will make my cycle start. (I am not sure if it is the big needle injections or just a pill, but I am hoping pills!!??) He needs my cycle to start by a certain day in order for me to be a part of the November cycle. If by chance, it doesn't cooperate and start by the time he needs it to, then we might be pushed back to December cycle. Got all that? Phew, I am exhausted just trying to understand it all myself.
Why can't he just let me or everyone else for that matter just have their normal cycles and be more in tune with what the natural body is doing? Why must everyone be batched into groups? I don't really understand it myself, but he mentioned something about the lab, and how there is only enough space for a certain amount of eggs and if everyone was on their own cycle then they wouldn't have enough space and it would be super confusing and also the doctor would be on call 24/7/365. I guess the batching keeps everyone relatively at the same stage so it is less confusing?? I don't know, that is just kinda what I gathered.
So what's next? Well I have to go to the doctor this Friday to have another ultrasound and blood work done. The doctor is going to do a follicle count again during the ultrasound to see if he thinks my egg reserve has gone down or stayed the same in 5 months. They did some blood work last Thursday when I was there, to also check my AMH levels, which also gives them an idea of what my follicle/egg reserve is doing. So they will compare both of those results and hopefully we will have some more good news, because I am not sure I can deal with any more bad results right now.
Jenny
IVs-2
Blood Draws-6 Vials-23
Needle Injections-16
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