Today was one of the days we have been looking forward to for a really long time! The transfer!!! We arrived at the clinic around 730am and were escorted back to the back where the 2 gurney beds are with the wrap around curtains. I was told to once again put on the lovely open-back gown and hop on the gurney. I was told I was to have a full bladder because it makes the uterus easier to view. Soooo, I started drinking decaf coffee and water on the way to the clinic and continued to do so while waiting on the gurney. The embryologist came in next and gave me my first picture of my embryo!! It was so cute! It had grown to 6 cells and was given a grade of B. The embryologist said anywhere between 6-8 cells is good and normal. He said he is a very tough grader and very rarely gives A's. Wish I had known that before! Anyway he said a B is great! We signed some forms with him and he went about his way.
The doctor came in next to say hello! Oh, I forgot to mention that my mom and step dad Bruce came in town to hang out. I wanted my mom there for the transfer because she has such good energy. So, anyway when the doctor came in he and my mom immediately began talking and somehow it came up that I was conceived in Maui. The doctor then said how he got married on Maui. They were both saying how magical it was there. After our 10 minute chat and me chugging water, my bladder was FULL and we were ready to start.
I once again did the walk from the bed to the procedure room trying not to moon my mom or Justin who were following behind. The nurse got me into position and had my mom stand at my head and Justin on my left side. The ultrasound machine was on my right so we could all view the screen.
The doctor came in a minute later with his IPhone and said would u like some music during the procedure? We all said yes!! And you will never freaking guess the song he turned on!!??
"Somewhere over the rainbow," the Hawaiian version by Israel kamakawiwo'ole!!!!!!!!!! (if u haven't heard this song, GO listen to it now! It's amazing!)
The doctor said it reminded him of what we were just talking about, Hawaii! I immediately got the goose bumps and said, "That's Tommy's song!". The doctor said who is Tommy? And then I tried to hold back the tears and told him that Tom was one of my best friends that died right after we got back from Maui, 4 years ago. This was the song they played at his funeral, so every time any of our friends hears it we think/remember him. I always think its his way of letting all of us know he is around. I know, goose bumps again! The doctor asked me if I wanted him to turn off the song, and I said absolutely NOT. The room was filled with this sort of peaceful, amazing, positive energy and I was just trying to soak it in. All the variables were perfect!
So the doctor inserted a catheter and then told the embryologist, and he walked in the room with this tube and says, "Jennifer Naber, transferring 1 embryo". And we all watched as the music played as they delicately put the 1 tiny embryo through the tube and you could see it go up the tube and finally was placed in the uterus. It was honestly the most amazing thing and best moment of my life so far!
The doctor said he wasn't going to give us any sort of odds or statistics, but that it was just up to a higher power at this point. He said I just needed to relax and be positive. He printed out a picture from the ultrasound machine and circled the area where the embryo was placed with a heart and handed it to me. I had to lay there for about 10 minutes and then I was transferred to the gurney for another 10 minutes of rest. Then I got dressed and the doctor came in and gave us each a hug.
As we were walking out the nurse coordinator came up and leaned down and talked to my belly. It was cute! She walked us to the front and gave us all hugs and said relax! She said now we would begin the last step which is the dreaded 2week wait.
Justin and I had also read and been told that a mandatory laying down period after transfer has been proven to be helpful with getting the embryo to implant. Soooo, for the next 48 hours I will be laying horizontal. Meaning lots of movies, books and relaxation. It is great to have my mom, Bruce and Justin around to take care of me and just hang out and talk with them!
So once again, I don't want to think any further than now. I will take step 5 day by day. I am just so excited and grateful for the magical experiences of today. Thank you everyone for your positive thoughts and messages! Keep them coming! We need positive implantation thoughts now!
Jenny
Injections 53
Saturday, November 19, 2011
Thursday, November 17, 2011
Step 2 update
Here is how things went on Wednesday. We got to the clinic about 7am and Justin was taken back shortly there after by the embryologist to get his sample. Enough said, I won't elaborate on that anymore. I was taken back about 720am and prepped for the procedure. I changed into my lovely hospital gown with the open back and hopped on the gurney. Justin hung out with me while we were waiting and about 745am the anesthesiologist lady was there to start my IV.
Here come the water works! She started asking me health questions and tears just started running down my face. I don't know why this happens every time I get an IV. All I can think is that when I am afraid or nervous, my natural instinct is to cry?! She asked me like 20 health questions and honestly I can't tell you one thing she asked me. All I know is I kept saying "No", so hopefully that was the right answer. After she was finished my crying ceased and we waited for the doctor to come brief us.
The doctor arrived about 8am and said we were ready to go! I walked into the procedure room on my own trying to hold the back of my gown closed for fear of mooning anyone. And then as soon as I layed down on the table the water works stared again. Must be a fear related response! Ugh, everyone there must think I am such a crybaby! And then, I was out.
I woke to the sound of lots of voices around me about 30 minutes later. I heard the doctor talking to Justin. I heard the embryologist talking to the lady on the gurney next to me hidden by only a curtain. I heard the nurses talking at their station close by.
I heard the doctor tell Justin he retrieved 2 eggs. I heard him say there was a 3rd follicle that had nothing in it. I then heard the embryologist tell the lady next to me she had like 12 eggs retrieved and 5 embryos. (she obviously was there for a transfer). Hearing these 2 conversations simultaneously while coming out of anesthesia apparently got me quite upset and I started crying hysterically. Because for some reason in my drugged up mind I thought they were going to get more than 2 eggs. But in a realistic sober state I was totally content with the fact that I knew we wouldn't get mores than 2 eggs.
Ok so after calming down I realized WE GOT 2 EGGS!! Yay!! That was great news! The nurse coordinator then came over to let me know we had to start the dreaded progesterone shots right now! So she rolled me over and drew a circle with a sharpie on both sides of my butt, to give Justin a reference for injection places. The nurse gave me the first one and showed Justin the procedure. It hurt, but not too bad because I was still pretty out of it from the drugs. But I was not looking forward to doing those daily, especially when I was not on anesthesia.
I went home by about 930am and spent the rest of Wednesday in bed relaxing. I was a little sore from the procedure, but not too bad. Thank you to Justin and his mom for taking care of me all day yesterday! Much appreciated!
I woke up this morning feeling better and a little less sore. I think I am just going to need to take it easy today as well.
I got a call from the embryologist about 830am this morning with news.......
He said that both eggs were fertilized yesterday, but one of the eggs was not mature and did not fertilize correctly. But the other one was mature and DID fertilize properly. So we have.....
1 EMBRYO!!!
Again, it isn't a lot, but it isn't zero. I was really hoping both would fertilize, but hey we really didn't have good percentages with only 2 eggs, so getting 1 is pretty good! All you need is one right!?
I was thinking this morning about the world series and how our local stl caridnals team this year had no chance of winning. And every time people thought the team was out they would come down to 1 strike or 1 out or 1 game and come back and win! And they went all the way and won the big game. It only takes 1 right! And it was the cardinals 11th championship in 2011. And you know my thing with 11's! I am taking it as a sign.
To add the the 11 superstitition our retrieval and embryos were created on 11/16/11. If you add those numbers together 1+1+1+6+1+1= Eleven. Kinda cool, huh!? I think so! Even the fact that it's 11/11 is pretty cool and good karma in my book. Ok, enough of my mumbo jumbo.
So we are a GO for an embryo transfer on Saturday. We won't know the grade or quality of the embryo until we get there on Saturday. They grade the embryos based on a list of characteristics and give it a grade just like in school. So obviously A+ is the best, and what I am hoping for. The grade is a good predictor of how well the embryo might perform and attach in the uterus. It is not a predictor of a healthy vs unhealthy baby.
So step 3 is getting the embryo to grow and be strong over the next 2 days in the lab. Step 4 will be the transfer. And step 5 is the dreaded 2 week wait to see if the embryo attaches and we indeed get pregnant.
In the meantime, we will continue to do the dreaded progesterone shots daily. Ugh! The first one on our own this morning was nerve-wrecking and again I got a little teary-eyed. Justin did a pretty good job, but I know he will get better as we do more. I just have to remember that the pain, fear, and soreness are going to seem so worth it and forgotten about so quickly when we are holding a baby.
Keep the good thoughts coming, but just change to lingo to strong, perfect embryo!!!
Jenny
Blood draws 11 Vials 30
IV pokes 3
Injections 51
Here come the water works! She started asking me health questions and tears just started running down my face. I don't know why this happens every time I get an IV. All I can think is that when I am afraid or nervous, my natural instinct is to cry?! She asked me like 20 health questions and honestly I can't tell you one thing she asked me. All I know is I kept saying "No", so hopefully that was the right answer. After she was finished my crying ceased and we waited for the doctor to come brief us.
The doctor arrived about 8am and said we were ready to go! I walked into the procedure room on my own trying to hold the back of my gown closed for fear of mooning anyone. And then as soon as I layed down on the table the water works stared again. Must be a fear related response! Ugh, everyone there must think I am such a crybaby! And then, I was out.
I woke to the sound of lots of voices around me about 30 minutes later. I heard the doctor talking to Justin. I heard the embryologist talking to the lady on the gurney next to me hidden by only a curtain. I heard the nurses talking at their station close by.
I heard the doctor tell Justin he retrieved 2 eggs. I heard him say there was a 3rd follicle that had nothing in it. I then heard the embryologist tell the lady next to me she had like 12 eggs retrieved and 5 embryos. (she obviously was there for a transfer). Hearing these 2 conversations simultaneously while coming out of anesthesia apparently got me quite upset and I started crying hysterically. Because for some reason in my drugged up mind I thought they were going to get more than 2 eggs. But in a realistic sober state I was totally content with the fact that I knew we wouldn't get mores than 2 eggs.
Ok so after calming down I realized WE GOT 2 EGGS!! Yay!! That was great news! The nurse coordinator then came over to let me know we had to start the dreaded progesterone shots right now! So she rolled me over and drew a circle with a sharpie on both sides of my butt, to give Justin a reference for injection places. The nurse gave me the first one and showed Justin the procedure. It hurt, but not too bad because I was still pretty out of it from the drugs. But I was not looking forward to doing those daily, especially when I was not on anesthesia.
I went home by about 930am and spent the rest of Wednesday in bed relaxing. I was a little sore from the procedure, but not too bad. Thank you to Justin and his mom for taking care of me all day yesterday! Much appreciated!
I woke up this morning feeling better and a little less sore. I think I am just going to need to take it easy today as well.
I got a call from the embryologist about 830am this morning with news.......
He said that both eggs were fertilized yesterday, but one of the eggs was not mature and did not fertilize correctly. But the other one was mature and DID fertilize properly. So we have.....
1 EMBRYO!!!
Again, it isn't a lot, but it isn't zero. I was really hoping both would fertilize, but hey we really didn't have good percentages with only 2 eggs, so getting 1 is pretty good! All you need is one right!?
I was thinking this morning about the world series and how our local stl caridnals team this year had no chance of winning. And every time people thought the team was out they would come down to 1 strike or 1 out or 1 game and come back and win! And they went all the way and won the big game. It only takes 1 right! And it was the cardinals 11th championship in 2011. And you know my thing with 11's! I am taking it as a sign.
To add the the 11 superstitition our retrieval and embryos were created on 11/16/11. If you add those numbers together 1+1+1+6+1+1= Eleven. Kinda cool, huh!? I think so! Even the fact that it's 11/11 is pretty cool and good karma in my book. Ok, enough of my mumbo jumbo.
So we are a GO for an embryo transfer on Saturday. We won't know the grade or quality of the embryo until we get there on Saturday. They grade the embryos based on a list of characteristics and give it a grade just like in school. So obviously A+ is the best, and what I am hoping for. The grade is a good predictor of how well the embryo might perform and attach in the uterus. It is not a predictor of a healthy vs unhealthy baby.
So step 3 is getting the embryo to grow and be strong over the next 2 days in the lab. Step 4 will be the transfer. And step 5 is the dreaded 2 week wait to see if the embryo attaches and we indeed get pregnant.
In the meantime, we will continue to do the dreaded progesterone shots daily. Ugh! The first one on our own this morning was nerve-wrecking and again I got a little teary-eyed. Justin did a pretty good job, but I know he will get better as we do more. I just have to remember that the pain, fear, and soreness are going to seem so worth it and forgotten about so quickly when we are holding a baby.
Keep the good thoughts coming, but just change to lingo to strong, perfect embryo!!!
Jenny
Blood draws 11 Vials 30
IV pokes 3
Injections 51
Tuesday, November 15, 2011
It's almost that time....
And I can't sleep. And I am thirsty! Why is it whenever they tell you that you can't have food or drink after a certain time, you all of a sudden are the hungriest and thirstiest you have ever been!? So annoying.
As you can see I survived Monday and my 22 needle pokes. The trigger shot was about the same as the morning shot I did and was quite tough to get to pierce the skin. The nurse who draws my blood told me that is because your stomach starts to get tough and gets knots in it from all the injections, so that is the reason the needles get harder to push in, and your stomach gets sorer. I know, Gross!! I will stop because I am making myself sick typing it.
Today was a nice relaxing day with no injections (yay!) and I tried not to think about what is going to happen tomorrow, but it's hard not to. I am more nervous about getting bad news than I am about the procedure or the IV poke. I told Justin tonight, it seems crazy that we are at step 2 in the IVF process. This isn't how I imagined I would feel, when I was thinking about it 8 months ago. I thought it would mentally feel much more chaotic, and that I would be much crazier than I am. He he! But I also had no idea that I was strong enough to go through this process. I thought I would NEVER make it through that many needles. I really thought I would die of fear first.
Step 2 is kinda out of my hands. I just have to hope my body made some perfect eggs and that my doctor is the best egg catcher out there. Then I have to hope that Justin's sperm are looking good, and then I have to hope that the embryologist pairs them up just right and makes perfect embryos. All this will happen in a 1hr period. I know, crazy! Then Thursday (24hrs after) we will have an update. I don't want to think any further ahead than that for now. Sorry, don't want to jump the gun.
I will try and update tomorrow about the egg retrieval, but I might be kind of out of it from the anesthesia, so it might be Thursday when I can update again. We'll see how loopy I am. Ok I have to get some rest, 530am is going to come quickly. Love you all!
Jenny
Blood draws 11 Vials 30
Injections 49
Acupuncture needles 16 (just Monday, too many to count in the last 18 months)
Total needle pokes for Monday 22! Holy cow!
As you can see I survived Monday and my 22 needle pokes. The trigger shot was about the same as the morning shot I did and was quite tough to get to pierce the skin. The nurse who draws my blood told me that is because your stomach starts to get tough and gets knots in it from all the injections, so that is the reason the needles get harder to push in, and your stomach gets sorer. I know, Gross!! I will stop because I am making myself sick typing it.
Today was a nice relaxing day with no injections (yay!) and I tried not to think about what is going to happen tomorrow, but it's hard not to. I am more nervous about getting bad news than I am about the procedure or the IV poke. I told Justin tonight, it seems crazy that we are at step 2 in the IVF process. This isn't how I imagined I would feel, when I was thinking about it 8 months ago. I thought it would mentally feel much more chaotic, and that I would be much crazier than I am. He he! But I also had no idea that I was strong enough to go through this process. I thought I would NEVER make it through that many needles. I really thought I would die of fear first.
Step 2 is kinda out of my hands. I just have to hope my body made some perfect eggs and that my doctor is the best egg catcher out there. Then I have to hope that Justin's sperm are looking good, and then I have to hope that the embryologist pairs them up just right and makes perfect embryos. All this will happen in a 1hr period. I know, crazy! Then Thursday (24hrs after) we will have an update. I don't want to think any further ahead than that for now. Sorry, don't want to jump the gun.
I will try and update tomorrow about the egg retrieval, but I might be kind of out of it from the anesthesia, so it might be Thursday when I can update again. We'll see how loopy I am. Ok I have to get some rest, 530am is going to come quickly. Love you all!
Jenny
Blood draws 11 Vials 30
Injections 49
Acupuncture needles 16 (just Monday, too many to count in the last 18 months)
Total needle pokes for Monday 22! Holy cow!
Monday, November 14, 2011
Step 2 is around the corner.
That being said. I can also say it has been a looooooooong step 1.
We went to our dr appt this morning at 10am after doing our last morning injections at 7am. Yay! Done with that portion! We met with the doctor and he said my estradiol level came back from Saturday and we are right on track. I can't remember exactly what he said the number was but I think he said somewhere around 250-275. He said each mature follicle produces between 150-200, so by Wednesday that number should be at least 400 (because I have 2 follicles), probably closer to 450-500 is ideal.
So he did the ultrasound and I definitely have 2 follicles on the left that are the right size. There is a small one on the right that he will go after, but it doesn't look promising. Anyway, I am thrilled about the 2 good ones that we have!
I asked the doctor if I was in a small category by only having 2 follicles. He said absolutely not. He had actually just done an egg retrieval right before my appointment and the woman had 2 follicles. That made me feel a little better. I also asked some questions about percentages and probabilities. The doctor gave us some good odds because of our age, but again he doesn't want to think past Wednesday. His first and only goal at this moment is retrieve at least 2 good quality eggs.
I also asked him about some medicine I could take for this horrible cold, sinus, flu thing I have going on! Ugh! It's been 5 days now of feeling crappy. He said I could take some Zyrtec, but I am going to try and hold off cause I would rather not have those drugs in my system. (I wouldn't want to be able to blame the drugs if something goes wrong, ya know.). So I'll continue with the fruits, vegetables, fruit juice and airborne. I have also been instructed to stop taking the baby aspirin and any other supplements besides my prenatal vitamin with DHA, and b-complex.
Oh yea, and I got another blood draw to once again look at my estradiol level. The blood drawing lady told me this is the last one for awhile! Thank goodness!
Plan?? Glad u asked!
Tonight Justin and I will go at 6pm to the chiropractor to get acupuncture treatments. My doctor highly recommends it before retrieval. Then at 7pm we will do our last 2 injections (which is actually 3 because the cartridge on the one will run out). Yay, last burning injection! Very glad for that! At 8pm Justin will give me the trigger shot in my stomach as well. So by the time this day is over I will have had probably about 22 needle pokes. Talk about confronting your fear head on! Never thought I would have a day like today.
Tuesday will be a relax day. Then we will head in Wednesday morning at 730am for preparation, and then the fun will begin at 8am.
So now more than ever, we need positive thoughts and energy, prayers, and support. I figure the more people we have putting good energy towards this the better outcome we will have. Thanks for listening and for the great notes, texts, and emails of encouragement! They help keep my spirits up and help us to know that we are loved.
Think perfect eggs! Be perfect eggs! I have perfect eggs!
Jenny
We went to our dr appt this morning at 10am after doing our last morning injections at 7am. Yay! Done with that portion! We met with the doctor and he said my estradiol level came back from Saturday and we are right on track. I can't remember exactly what he said the number was but I think he said somewhere around 250-275. He said each mature follicle produces between 150-200, so by Wednesday that number should be at least 400 (because I have 2 follicles), probably closer to 450-500 is ideal.
So he did the ultrasound and I definitely have 2 follicles on the left that are the right size. There is a small one on the right that he will go after, but it doesn't look promising. Anyway, I am thrilled about the 2 good ones that we have!
I asked the doctor if I was in a small category by only having 2 follicles. He said absolutely not. He had actually just done an egg retrieval right before my appointment and the woman had 2 follicles. That made me feel a little better. I also asked some questions about percentages and probabilities. The doctor gave us some good odds because of our age, but again he doesn't want to think past Wednesday. His first and only goal at this moment is retrieve at least 2 good quality eggs.
I also asked him about some medicine I could take for this horrible cold, sinus, flu thing I have going on! Ugh! It's been 5 days now of feeling crappy. He said I could take some Zyrtec, but I am going to try and hold off cause I would rather not have those drugs in my system. (I wouldn't want to be able to blame the drugs if something goes wrong, ya know.). So I'll continue with the fruits, vegetables, fruit juice and airborne. I have also been instructed to stop taking the baby aspirin and any other supplements besides my prenatal vitamin with DHA, and b-complex.
Oh yea, and I got another blood draw to once again look at my estradiol level. The blood drawing lady told me this is the last one for awhile! Thank goodness!
Plan?? Glad u asked!
Tonight Justin and I will go at 6pm to the chiropractor to get acupuncture treatments. My doctor highly recommends it before retrieval. Then at 7pm we will do our last 2 injections (which is actually 3 because the cartridge on the one will run out). Yay, last burning injection! Very glad for that! At 8pm Justin will give me the trigger shot in my stomach as well. So by the time this day is over I will have had probably about 22 needle pokes. Talk about confronting your fear head on! Never thought I would have a day like today.
Tuesday will be a relax day. Then we will head in Wednesday morning at 730am for preparation, and then the fun will begin at 8am.
So now more than ever, we need positive thoughts and energy, prayers, and support. I figure the more people we have putting good energy towards this the better outcome we will have. Thanks for listening and for the great notes, texts, and emails of encouragement! They help keep my spirits up and help us to know that we are loved.
Think perfect eggs! Be perfect eggs! I have perfect eggs!
Jenny
Saturday, November 12, 2011
Moving forward with short term goals
Moving forward is great! We are happy and excited!
We got up very early for a Saturday morning to be at the doctors office by 830pm. The clinic is about 45 minutes to an hour from our house, so we had to leave by 730am, and we had to do morning injections at 7am, so I am destined NOT to sleep in for awhile.
Anyway, we got GOOD news! Dressed once again in my paper towel skirt the doctor did the ultrasound and we discovered that I have 2 good sized follicles on the left side. The 3rd one we saw on Thursday on the left side has disappeared, and the doctor said there might be 2 small ones on the right side that still could have potential. He also said there is still time for more to pop up, and no matter what when they go in for the retrieval they will go after anything and everything, just to be certain they get all the eggs. He also said my uterine lining looks perfect! Perfect? Yes, that's what he said! So I'll take a compliment, even if it's about my uterus! Ha ha! Just for reference, 2 follicles is a pretty low number to have, I think 6-10 is an ideal number. More than 10 is not good either. But 2 is more than zero!! So I am going with that positive outlook! Some is better than none.
My Estradiol level blood test came back from Thursday and it was at 150!!!! Yay, that is great news too! The doctor said he expects it to be over 300 with the blood test I did today. Yep, that's right, another blood draw today, and another vial of my precious blood donated.
So what is the plan you ask? Well, I will do 2.5 more days of stimulating drugs. The doctor has reduced the amount of Follistim back to 150iu for the remainder of those injections, but the other 2 drugs will stay the same. So Monday evening will be my last 2 injections of the stimulating hormones. Yay!! But there are more to come. (Yes, there are more new drugs to inject as we get to the next steps in the process, ugh!) I will go in Monday at 10:00am for another monitoring appt, and the doctor is 90% sure I will trigger that day and most likely do the retrieval on Wednesday. What is trigger? Well I will have to go get a shot of a hormone called HSG and inject in at the precise moment they tell me to on Monday. That trigger will send my body into ovulation mode. Then exactly 36 hours later (Wednesday morning) they will retrieve the eggs during an outpatient procedure. I will be put under sedation for that. At the same time they are retrieving the eggs, Justin will make a "donation". Then as long as they get at least 1 good egg they will insert the sperm into the egg/eggs right away.
The doctor doesn't seem to want to talk about things that are more than 1 step ahead of where we are now. I guess it's good because you just focus on the next step, and not what "might or might not" happen 2-3 steps from now. Meaning, he didn't want to discuss embryo transfer, or fertilization. His immediate thoughts are when to trigger and retrieval. So I guess that is what we will focus on as well. Short term goals.
The doctor has also put me on an antibiotic to fend off infection before retrieval and because I have a horrible head cold right now.
We are very excited to be moving forward!! I am trying to send positive messages to these 2 large follicles, to be strong and perfect! Twins, twins, twins! Ha ha!
Jenny
Blood draws 10 vials 29
Injections 36
We got up very early for a Saturday morning to be at the doctors office by 830pm. The clinic is about 45 minutes to an hour from our house, so we had to leave by 730am, and we had to do morning injections at 7am, so I am destined NOT to sleep in for awhile.
Anyway, we got GOOD news! Dressed once again in my paper towel skirt the doctor did the ultrasound and we discovered that I have 2 good sized follicles on the left side. The 3rd one we saw on Thursday on the left side has disappeared, and the doctor said there might be 2 small ones on the right side that still could have potential. He also said there is still time for more to pop up, and no matter what when they go in for the retrieval they will go after anything and everything, just to be certain they get all the eggs. He also said my uterine lining looks perfect! Perfect? Yes, that's what he said! So I'll take a compliment, even if it's about my uterus! Ha ha! Just for reference, 2 follicles is a pretty low number to have, I think 6-10 is an ideal number. More than 10 is not good either. But 2 is more than zero!! So I am going with that positive outlook! Some is better than none.
My Estradiol level blood test came back from Thursday and it was at 150!!!! Yay, that is great news too! The doctor said he expects it to be over 300 with the blood test I did today. Yep, that's right, another blood draw today, and another vial of my precious blood donated.
So what is the plan you ask? Well, I will do 2.5 more days of stimulating drugs. The doctor has reduced the amount of Follistim back to 150iu for the remainder of those injections, but the other 2 drugs will stay the same. So Monday evening will be my last 2 injections of the stimulating hormones. Yay!! But there are more to come. (Yes, there are more new drugs to inject as we get to the next steps in the process, ugh!) I will go in Monday at 10:00am for another monitoring appt, and the doctor is 90% sure I will trigger that day and most likely do the retrieval on Wednesday. What is trigger? Well I will have to go get a shot of a hormone called HSG and inject in at the precise moment they tell me to on Monday. That trigger will send my body into ovulation mode. Then exactly 36 hours later (Wednesday morning) they will retrieve the eggs during an outpatient procedure. I will be put under sedation for that. At the same time they are retrieving the eggs, Justin will make a "donation". Then as long as they get at least 1 good egg they will insert the sperm into the egg/eggs right away.
The doctor doesn't seem to want to talk about things that are more than 1 step ahead of where we are now. I guess it's good because you just focus on the next step, and not what "might or might not" happen 2-3 steps from now. Meaning, he didn't want to discuss embryo transfer, or fertilization. His immediate thoughts are when to trigger and retrieval. So I guess that is what we will focus on as well. Short term goals.
The doctor has also put me on an antibiotic to fend off infection before retrieval and because I have a horrible head cold right now.
We are very excited to be moving forward!! I am trying to send positive messages to these 2 large follicles, to be strong and perfect! Twins, twins, twins! Ha ha!
Jenny
Blood draws 10 vials 29
Injections 36
Friday, November 11, 2011
Yesterday I yelled, today I cried
Today is 11/11/11 which in our world is a very cool thing! I have always had a thing with the time and date being anything with 11's. I have read many articles about the significance of 11 and how in numerology it is a powerful number. So Justin and I spent the day together (he was off work) and pampered ourselves with massages, a nice lunch, and pedicures. Justin and I noted the time today when it turned 11:11am and will do it again at 11:11pm. I know we are weird, but I am hoping the day brings some positive energy to this process.
Ok on to the crazy:
The effect of the hormone injections have definitely set in!! My hormones are going crazy! I have hot flashes throughout the day and my mood seems to be on a roller coaster from happy to sad to mad in a matter of minutes. Wow, look out! I yelled at a girl i work with last night, because honestly I haven't had the guts to do it, but apparently these hormones raging through me have given me the gumption to tell people how I really feel and call them out if they are rude. Not sure if that's a good or bad thing, but I'll have to say I felt great after it happened.
We went to the doctor yesterday (Thursday) and had the usual things done. First was the paper towel skirt portion with the ultrasound. The doctor seemed to be in a positive mood and I told him about my positive thinking and mantra. He agreed that thinking positively is actually scientifically proven to help have a better outcome with this process.
He said the results of my blood work came back from Monday and my baseline estradiol levels were normal and my progesterone level was baseline normal as well. That's a good start.
So the ultrasound showed 3 follicles on the left side and possibly one on the right. Which is totally weird because the last several months the right side has been the only side producing anything, and now apparently the left side has woken up and decided to be a part of this. I asked about the possibility of more follicles still popping up and he said it happens all the time, so I need to keep my mantra going. The 4 follicles that I have are not big enough yet to harvest, so he said I must keep on the same amounts of the first 2 drugs, and then this morning (Friday) he instructed me to start the 3rd injection which is also done in the stomach in the morning. The 3rd drug prevents your body from ovulating these follicles, so that they can be harvested.
The doctor seemed very positive about the 4 follicles. He said all we need is one good one, but realistically we want more than 1 follicle to have better odds.
We also had blood work done at this appointment. Add another vial to the count. The lady who usually doesn't do her job very well drawing blood actually did an ok job and Justin was there to hold my hand so that helps. This testing will check my estradiol level again. The doctor said with the amount of drugs I am on and based on what he sees on the ultrasound the number should be over 100, at least. Here we are again! This is the same time that we had to stop everything last time. But since we see follicles growing, we are moving forward!! Yay!
We were supposed to have an appt today, but the doctor decided to cancel and have me just come in tomorrow morning (Saturday). So I haven't gotten my results back from Thursday's blood work. But I am assuming it had to be over 100 or I would have gotten a phone call. So that is all good news!
How am I doing with the shots? Ugh! Not good yesterday and today! My stomach seems to be getting really sore and tough from all the needles, so each one has begun to hurt worse. I have been using an ice pack like always to numb up my stomach before each shot, but yesterday and today the ice pack doesn't seem to be helping at all. The second drug that burns going in was very painful last night and almost unbearable tonight. I started crying immediately after Justin did it tonight because it felt like burning poison going into my stomach. I am not sure how many more of those I can take without losing my mind. The new 3rd drug we started this AM was not that easy either because Justin couldn't get the needle to go in all the way. It was really strange. So after 5 pokes he had to jab it hard to get it to go in all the way in order to be able to release the medicine. NOT fun! Makes me nauseous just typing about it. The worst is when we have to do 2 injections of the first easy drug because the cartridge runs out midway through!!! So like this morning for example i got poked with needles 7 times before it was all said and done. Again, NOT fun! It is a crappy way to start your day. So you can see how someone might be a little emotional just from that, let alone the drugs that are making you more emotional on the inside. I started using a heating pad on my stomach this morning after my injections to help with some of the soreness. As I sit here typing I have the heating pad on there again.
I can't believe how much different this process is this time around, physically and emotionally! A whole different ball game.
I just have to remember that this is all for an amazing end result! Hard to remember sometimes, but I try.
Jenny
Blood draws 9 Vials 28
Injections 33
Needle pokes-too many to count!
Ok on to the crazy:
The effect of the hormone injections have definitely set in!! My hormones are going crazy! I have hot flashes throughout the day and my mood seems to be on a roller coaster from happy to sad to mad in a matter of minutes. Wow, look out! I yelled at a girl i work with last night, because honestly I haven't had the guts to do it, but apparently these hormones raging through me have given me the gumption to tell people how I really feel and call them out if they are rude. Not sure if that's a good or bad thing, but I'll have to say I felt great after it happened.
We went to the doctor yesterday (Thursday) and had the usual things done. First was the paper towel skirt portion with the ultrasound. The doctor seemed to be in a positive mood and I told him about my positive thinking and mantra. He agreed that thinking positively is actually scientifically proven to help have a better outcome with this process.
He said the results of my blood work came back from Monday and my baseline estradiol levels were normal and my progesterone level was baseline normal as well. That's a good start.
So the ultrasound showed 3 follicles on the left side and possibly one on the right. Which is totally weird because the last several months the right side has been the only side producing anything, and now apparently the left side has woken up and decided to be a part of this. I asked about the possibility of more follicles still popping up and he said it happens all the time, so I need to keep my mantra going. The 4 follicles that I have are not big enough yet to harvest, so he said I must keep on the same amounts of the first 2 drugs, and then this morning (Friday) he instructed me to start the 3rd injection which is also done in the stomach in the morning. The 3rd drug prevents your body from ovulating these follicles, so that they can be harvested.
The doctor seemed very positive about the 4 follicles. He said all we need is one good one, but realistically we want more than 1 follicle to have better odds.
We also had blood work done at this appointment. Add another vial to the count. The lady who usually doesn't do her job very well drawing blood actually did an ok job and Justin was there to hold my hand so that helps. This testing will check my estradiol level again. The doctor said with the amount of drugs I am on and based on what he sees on the ultrasound the number should be over 100, at least. Here we are again! This is the same time that we had to stop everything last time. But since we see follicles growing, we are moving forward!! Yay!
We were supposed to have an appt today, but the doctor decided to cancel and have me just come in tomorrow morning (Saturday). So I haven't gotten my results back from Thursday's blood work. But I am assuming it had to be over 100 or I would have gotten a phone call. So that is all good news!
How am I doing with the shots? Ugh! Not good yesterday and today! My stomach seems to be getting really sore and tough from all the needles, so each one has begun to hurt worse. I have been using an ice pack like always to numb up my stomach before each shot, but yesterday and today the ice pack doesn't seem to be helping at all. The second drug that burns going in was very painful last night and almost unbearable tonight. I started crying immediately after Justin did it tonight because it felt like burning poison going into my stomach. I am not sure how many more of those I can take without losing my mind. The new 3rd drug we started this AM was not that easy either because Justin couldn't get the needle to go in all the way. It was really strange. So after 5 pokes he had to jab it hard to get it to go in all the way in order to be able to release the medicine. NOT fun! Makes me nauseous just typing about it. The worst is when we have to do 2 injections of the first easy drug because the cartridge runs out midway through!!! So like this morning for example i got poked with needles 7 times before it was all said and done. Again, NOT fun! It is a crappy way to start your day. So you can see how someone might be a little emotional just from that, let alone the drugs that are making you more emotional on the inside. I started using a heating pad on my stomach this morning after my injections to help with some of the soreness. As I sit here typing I have the heating pad on there again.
I can't believe how much different this process is this time around, physically and emotionally! A whole different ball game.
I just have to remember that this is all for an amazing end result! Hard to remember sometimes, but I try.
Jenny
Blood draws 9 Vials 28
Injections 33
Needle pokes-too many to count!
Wednesday, November 9, 2011
It's funny who you relate to in these situations
Today is cycle day 5, and I have been taking the injections for 3 days now. The first medicine that I have to do twice a day with the pen thingy are getting to be a breeze. Especially the one in the morning at 7am because I am half asleep. I started the second drug injection tonight at 7pm, so I am now doing 2 injections in the evening. The one I started tonight is the one that burns going in, so it makes me a little light-headed and nauseous for about a minute after it goes in.
Justin is taking a class on Wednesday evenings working towards his bachelors degree, so he wasn't able to do my injections tonight. Luckily for me I have a great friend, Jessica that I work with who is on her way to becoming a nurse, so she said she would help me out. She did a great job and I had very little pain with both injections! So thank goodness for good friends! Thanks Jess!
The reason for my posting title is this morning I was talking to my cleaning lady and we started talking about fertility stuff because she saw all the needles and biohazard container on my kitchen counter. Yea, I know kinda creepy but don't worry I will hide them if anyone of you come over. Anyway, she started telling me about how she went through ten years of infertility stuff and surgeries trying to have a baby. She said she never went through the full IVF or adoption because she couldn't afford it. Finally at 45, she had given up and then one of her worker girls came up to her and said "hey I know u want a baby and my sister in law is pregnant again and the state takes them away because she is unfit. I am sure she would let u adopt it.". And so a month later she went to the hospital, the baby was born healthy, the mother never even held it, and my cleaning lady had the papers signed the next day, and the baby was hers for $200. Yea, crazy stuff huh! The point of my story is that you never know who you are going to relate to in the world, and sometimes I feel like I relate better to strangers who have had or are going through similar experiences, rather than someone like a friend I have known for 20 years. Weird!
I am headed to the dr's office tomorrow morning to see what these crazy follicles are doing! (ultrasound and blood work results from Monday) Remember growing big and growing more is what they are supposed to be doing!! I am hoping the are following my mantra.
Jenny
Blood draws 8 Vials 27
Injections 24
Justin is taking a class on Wednesday evenings working towards his bachelors degree, so he wasn't able to do my injections tonight. Luckily for me I have a great friend, Jessica that I work with who is on her way to becoming a nurse, so she said she would help me out. She did a great job and I had very little pain with both injections! So thank goodness for good friends! Thanks Jess!
The reason for my posting title is this morning I was talking to my cleaning lady and we started talking about fertility stuff because she saw all the needles and biohazard container on my kitchen counter. Yea, I know kinda creepy but don't worry I will hide them if anyone of you come over. Anyway, she started telling me about how she went through ten years of infertility stuff and surgeries trying to have a baby. She said she never went through the full IVF or adoption because she couldn't afford it. Finally at 45, she had given up and then one of her worker girls came up to her and said "hey I know u want a baby and my sister in law is pregnant again and the state takes them away because she is unfit. I am sure she would let u adopt it.". And so a month later she went to the hospital, the baby was born healthy, the mother never even held it, and my cleaning lady had the papers signed the next day, and the baby was hers for $200. Yea, crazy stuff huh! The point of my story is that you never know who you are going to relate to in the world, and sometimes I feel like I relate better to strangers who have had or are going through similar experiences, rather than someone like a friend I have known for 20 years. Weird!
I am headed to the dr's office tomorrow morning to see what these crazy follicles are doing! (ultrasound and blood work results from Monday) Remember growing big and growing more is what they are supposed to be doing!! I am hoping the are following my mantra.
Jenny
Blood draws 8 Vials 27
Injections 24
Monday, November 7, 2011
Round 2 begins!
Well the day has finally come!! After about a 7 week hiatus we are finally back on the IVF road. I waited patiently for my cycle to come on its own this time around and was told it MUST start on or before Nov 5th in order to be in the Nov cycle. Well I guess you could say my body decided to wait till the last second, 4pm on Nov 5th, but hey whatever, it was in time so that's all that matters right!
This morning (Monday) I went in for my first appointment with the doctor to have an ultrasound and blood drawn to make sure everything looks good to start the drugs. The ultrasound showed 4-5 follicles, but with it being only day 3 of my cycle more follicles can emerge in the next several days. So my mantra for the next 2 days is "grow more follicles, grow bigger, grow more follicles, grow bigger."
The doctor again was in his 'think out loud mode' and again started with the rambling about, "ok severe endo, blah blah blah.". After the ultrasound the doctor again told me the AMH level test results from the previous month, which he had already told me. He tried to start discussing it again and I immediately stopped him because I could see he was starting to go down a negative path again. I reminded him that I had a follicle count of 9 on my own last month with no drugs and that he had said in our previous appt that he was going to ignore the AMH results and focus on the follicles. I was not going to start this 2nd cycle with negative shit! I have had enough of people telling me what is wrong with me, so at this point just tell me what is good about what is going on. The doctor liked my thinking and rational. So I guess every appt I am going to have to remind him to say positive things to me.
After the ultrasound the nurse coordinator gave me my first injection of Follistim. Oh yea I forgot to mention the doctor decided to do the same drugs again this cycle, because the results from the pharmaceutical company who were testing my first meds have NOT come back yet. I will do 2 injections a day of the max dose (225iu) of Follistim for the next 3.5 days. I guess I should say Justin will give me 2 injections a day, because we all know I am not looking at it!! Then I will go back Thursday morning for monitoring to see how things are progressing.
The last part of the appt was getting to have more blood drawn to see where my FSH and LH levels are. Yay!! More needles!! I want my FSH to be under 12 and LH at 30 or over. I got 2 more vials to add to the total, awesome! I will get the results of those on Thursday at my appt.
Before I left the nurse coordinator gave me a big bag of drugs and needles. That was a really funny last sentence to write! Ha! She gave me a cartridge of Follistim to replace the one that is being tested, along with 4 others and 6 vials of the second drug I will start taking Thursday evening. All the drugs she gave me were samples (free), so that was really nice, because we won't have to spend any monies for the first 5 days of Follistim and the first 3 days of the second drug. Basically all the drugs we paid for the first IVF were comp'd this time around. So if we can get past the place we got to in IVF #1 we will then start paying for the drugs again. Whew, complicated! But grateful for the samples!
How am I feeling? Anxious, nervous, excited, positive! How is my needle anxiety? Funny, but it actually seems to be getting better. Since I have been through all of this portion of the IVF process once already the needles seem a little less scary. And the anxiety build-up that would happen about 10-15 minutes before I would get an injection seems to be less. BUT oddly enough the anxiety before I get blood drawn is still really high! I get light-headed and nauseous. I think this might be because the lady that draws the blood in the office SUCKS at her job about 80% of the time. She usually doesn't hit the vein right the first time, so to know in advance that it is really going to hurt and more than once, might be where the anxiety is stemming from. Ha! Ya think!
So here we go!! Positive thoughts and positive energy, grow more follicles, grow bigger!
Jenny
Blood draws 8 Vials 27
Injections 18
This morning (Monday) I went in for my first appointment with the doctor to have an ultrasound and blood drawn to make sure everything looks good to start the drugs. The ultrasound showed 4-5 follicles, but with it being only day 3 of my cycle more follicles can emerge in the next several days. So my mantra for the next 2 days is "grow more follicles, grow bigger, grow more follicles, grow bigger."
The doctor again was in his 'think out loud mode' and again started with the rambling about, "ok severe endo, blah blah blah.". After the ultrasound the doctor again told me the AMH level test results from the previous month, which he had already told me. He tried to start discussing it again and I immediately stopped him because I could see he was starting to go down a negative path again. I reminded him that I had a follicle count of 9 on my own last month with no drugs and that he had said in our previous appt that he was going to ignore the AMH results and focus on the follicles. I was not going to start this 2nd cycle with negative shit! I have had enough of people telling me what is wrong with me, so at this point just tell me what is good about what is going on. The doctor liked my thinking and rational. So I guess every appt I am going to have to remind him to say positive things to me.
After the ultrasound the nurse coordinator gave me my first injection of Follistim. Oh yea I forgot to mention the doctor decided to do the same drugs again this cycle, because the results from the pharmaceutical company who were testing my first meds have NOT come back yet. I will do 2 injections a day of the max dose (225iu) of Follistim for the next 3.5 days. I guess I should say Justin will give me 2 injections a day, because we all know I am not looking at it!! Then I will go back Thursday morning for monitoring to see how things are progressing.
The last part of the appt was getting to have more blood drawn to see where my FSH and LH levels are. Yay!! More needles!! I want my FSH to be under 12 and LH at 30 or over. I got 2 more vials to add to the total, awesome! I will get the results of those on Thursday at my appt.
Before I left the nurse coordinator gave me a big bag of drugs and needles. That was a really funny last sentence to write! Ha! She gave me a cartridge of Follistim to replace the one that is being tested, along with 4 others and 6 vials of the second drug I will start taking Thursday evening. All the drugs she gave me were samples (free), so that was really nice, because we won't have to spend any monies for the first 5 days of Follistim and the first 3 days of the second drug. Basically all the drugs we paid for the first IVF were comp'd this time around. So if we can get past the place we got to in IVF #1 we will then start paying for the drugs again. Whew, complicated! But grateful for the samples!
How am I feeling? Anxious, nervous, excited, positive! How is my needle anxiety? Funny, but it actually seems to be getting better. Since I have been through all of this portion of the IVF process once already the needles seem a little less scary. And the anxiety build-up that would happen about 10-15 minutes before I would get an injection seems to be less. BUT oddly enough the anxiety before I get blood drawn is still really high! I get light-headed and nauseous. I think this might be because the lady that draws the blood in the office SUCKS at her job about 80% of the time. She usually doesn't hit the vein right the first time, so to know in advance that it is really going to hurt and more than once, might be where the anxiety is stemming from. Ha! Ya think!
So here we go!! Positive thoughts and positive energy, grow more follicles, grow bigger!
Jenny
Blood draws 8 Vials 27
Injections 18
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