Our journey to be parents: 30 weeks pregnant, Wahoo!!! Oh and Anxiety, Questions and Nesting...

The last 2 days (20th & 21st) my mind has been racing. I feel like I have anxiety about everything...I'm not ready, I don't have everything perfect and done, I don't want my husband to go out of town for fear that I will go into labor while he is gone and the thoughts go on and on. And the anxiety leads to a million questions, how the heck are we going to do this? Are there really 2 babies in there? Do I have enough love to give them both? Am I going to be a good mom? Do I have enough clothes in the right sizes? Do I have all the gadgets and gear I need for when they arrive? C-section vs Not? (yes, I am back to not knowing what I want again) And so the anxiety and questions have led to frantic nesting.... Running errands, buying more baby clothes and gadgets, craft projects, laundry, organizing, making lists and lists and lists. Yes, I know I was like this before, but now my mind is racing while I am doing all of these things, so it is starting to make me a little crazy!!

And now it is Tuesday night the 21st and by the time everyone reads this I will be about 30.5 weeks pregnant. I just couldn't get myself to sit down and post on Sunday or Monday, so I guess I'll just catch up as I go. And I must say today felt like I finally got most of my issues that were giving me anxiety completed, but I also felt like a boulder was put in my path because my belly felt significantly heavier today and I felt like my body is saying.....well if you won't slow down then I will make you slow down.

We went to our doctor appointment on Thursday the 16th for our last 2 week appointment. We will be going weekly from this point on. And the doctor appointment couldn't have gone better. We did the usual ultrasound first and my cervix still looks long and closed which is ideal. She then looked at the babies and everything looks even more crammed than last time. I had to lay on both sides and on my back for a brief time so she could get pictures and measurements of everything she needed. Thank goodness I didn't get nauseous. So here is where the babies are as of Thursday the 16th: Baby A is 3lbs 3oz and Baby B is 3lbs 4oz!!! Can you believe how big they are!! Wow, crazy that I have 6lbs 7ozs of babies in my belly!

The only shot we could get because everything is so crowded in there!! A profile shot of Baby B with her hand.

After the ultrasound we had our appointment with Missy the nurse practitioner. Yes, we haven't seen the doctor in a couple of appointments, but it isn't because he doesn't like us, it is just everything is going so smooth and good with my pregnancy, that we are ok just seeing Missy. And we are totally fine with that, because we really like her. She said everything looks great, both babies are in the 49% and 50% when compared to a single baby pregnancy which is perfect and means each is growing at the same rate as a single pregnancy. Also, both babies are in the 88% for height based on their thigh bone measurements. Long-legged girls!! She said it was awesome their weights were so close and asked if I was having tightening in my belly. I said yes I had noticed it happening here and there, but nothing close together or more than maybe 2-3 times a day. I said they didn't hurt it just felt like my belly had been pulled really tight. She said this is normal and they are contractions, but just my body practicing. She said if they got painful or I have cramps or I have several in a row over a short period I should take 2 ibuprofen and call her right away.

Oh and I gained 4lbs in this 2 week period, so I'm up to 20lbs total weight gain and my belly is measuring 37cm or 37 weeks pregnant. We also discussed with her how we (Justin and I) had been a little stressed and short with each other lately and she said that it was totally normal at this point because each of us is just trying to figure out what our new roles are going to be and each is stressed about different issues pertaining to that. She also told Justin to be prepared that my hormones were only going to get worse after the babies come and that it wasn't anything I could control. She said I wouldn't be myself for several weeks after the babies were born, so he just needed to be prepared, but not to worry his wife would return after a short while. Ha ha ha!! Can't wait for that! I mean after 2.5 years of fake hormones being injected into my body and then having real hormones while being pregnant, how much worse could it get? She said actually it could get worse....awesome!! I just can't wait to feel mentally normal again.

After our appointment Thursday we had our 4th pediatrician interview. This doctor came highly recommended from my friend Jenny. He was very personable and warm and oddly enough looked much like my pediatrician growing up. We walked in and were greeted immediately by him, and just sat in the waiting room (it was after hours) and chatted with him. He said it was a group practice, so many times last minute appointments or after hours phone calls would be dealt with by another doctor or a nurse practitioner. I'm not sure how I feel about that. Yes, it is great that there is someone available if he isn't, but does that mean his interest in our girls won't be that personable? The info sheet he gave us also said that their practice relies heavily on nurse practitioners, which also leads me to assume that. I also asked about once the girls get to a certain age they might feel more comfortable having a female doctor and he said he has no problem with us switching to one of the female doctors within the practice. He said it happens quite often with male and female patients switching to same sex doctors for the comfort factor. Which leads to me then thinking, why don't we just have a female doctor to begin with? I think I would feel more comfortable asking questions about breast feeding issues with a female pediatrician. And then we wouldn't have to switch doctors down the road. So, I think we are leaning towards doctor #2 that we interviewed. Only problem with her is I can't pronounce her name, we' ll just go with what our nurse practitioner calls her, Dr. A. She is a solo practice, so we feel she will know the girls on a more personal level. That isn't our final decision, but that is just where I am at with it. I'm just glad we have 2 good ones to choose from.

Justin and I spent the weekend busy as ever!! We went to the baseball game Saturday and had dinner out with some great friends after. Then Sunday we spent some time with his family, ran errands, installed the car seats, worked on nursery stuff and on and on and on! It was a long productive day! And yes I turned 30 weeks pregnant Sunday! Wow, what a milestone!

Probably my last baseball game this year. Hey, at least it was a beautiful day!

My 30 week belly photo

Monday my awesome friend Katie came over to help organize and evaluate all the baby stuff I have to see what I still need and where it should go for best use. In 2.5 hours I feel like we got a lot done, I learned a lot and realized I needed some more things before the girls arrive, mostly clothes in smaller sizes. She said I am super organized and if the babies came today I would be fine, so that made me feel better. Thanks Katie for your help! I'm thinking all this running around and organizing and realizing I need more stuff contributed to my anxiety on Monday and Tuesday?? Hmmmm, whatcha think!!??

The closet is almost organized! And getting very full of clothes!

Today (Tuesday 21st), Justin and I took our cars and car seats to the chesterfield city hall to have them inspected by a certified officer and make sure we know how to install them in both cars. It was super informative and I feel much more confident about doing it myself.

I also worked on another craft project for the nursery this afternoon and got it completed, whew! Cross it off one of my lists. I have one more craft project to finish this week, but here are a couple pictures of what I have completed so far:

This was a tutu made by my great aunt or maybe 2 greats? My aunt had it and I brought it back to life with a little spray paint, new bows, and mounted it in a shadow box. Love the vintage look!

My headband holder I created out of a paper towel holder, a roll of paper towels, a glue gun, and some fabric. Love it!

The thing I love most in the nursery is the tissue paper corner mobile my mom and I made! I am obsessed with it and can't stop looking at it every time I walk into the nursery!

Justin and I went to a paint your own pottery place and hand painted these 2 little banks for the girls! I think they turned out super cute!

So like I said earlier, my belly started feeling heavier today and now I am at a very very slow waddle. We are headed to the doctor again tomorrow (22nd) for our weekly check up. So I guess I'll just wait to post this until after tomorrows appointment...............

Well it is now Wednesday the 22nd and we are waiting to go into the ultrasound and I have already had quite a funny morning. I couldn't sleep last night. I am trying not to take the 1/2 unisom tablets every night, because I just hate taking medicine if I don't have to, but I'm realizing if I don't that I can't really sleep at all because well.... I am very sore and it hurts to turn over or move, my mind is racing, I have acid reflux pretty bad (it doesn't hurt it's just annoying), and if I start to fall asleep I wake myself up because I snore REALLY loud! Something I have found really hilarious during the last couple months of pregnancy! I mean it is an all out deep mouth breathing snore that could wake the neighborhood. You know it has to be loud when you wake yourself up constantly! Ha! (btw the doctor said it is totally normal because my sinuses are clogged. Just another pregnancy thing).

Anyway, I didn't get to sleep until after 2am and then woke up at 6am when Justin left for work and couldn't fall back asleep. So I had some cereal and decided to whip up some pumpkin instant bread mix around 730am and pop it in the oven. I walked back into the bedroom and next thing I know..............it's 1130am and I wake up to a nice smell of pumpkin. I mean I haven't gotten out of bed that fast in weeks!!! I run in the kitchen expecting it to be filled with smoke.....but nothing. So I barely opened the oven expecting smoke and all I see is the bread pan and a black shriveled mass. I pulled it out, turned off the oven and have now banned myself from baking anything! Baby brain is in full effect!! Here is the final product:

4 hour baby brain pumpkin bread, Yum!

So after an eventful start to my Wednesday morning, Justin and I headed to our weekly doctor appointment and ultrasound. The ultrasound was just the same as last week. Baby A is breech and Baby B is transverse. My cervix looks good and babies look good. Our visit with Missy the nurse practitioner was pretty short and sweet as well. I did not gain any weight since last Thursday's appointment but my belly is now measuring 38cm. I told her my belly felt like it had dropped and felt heavier. She said this was normal. I also mentioned my night time issues and she said the unisom is perfectly ok to take every night and I should spread my vitamins/meds throughout the day and start taking this anti-nausea med they had given me in the first trimester because I have noticed my nausea is coming back slightly and it should also help with the acid reflux.

Another shot of the top of their heads is all we could get of both of them. This is kind of a repeat of a couple weeks ago.

Another profile shot of Baby B, which seems like the only shot we can ever get anymore.

Phew! Ok, I think I am caught up to this moment. And I swear I am going to start slowing down!! Well I kinda have to cause my belly isn't going to allow anything different. But no bed rest, so I'm thankful for that! Here are a couple pictures of the nursery. It isn't quite completed to perfection, but I thought I'd share anyway, because who knows if it will ever be as perfect as I want it.

Walking into the nursery

The left crib and wall of the nursery. The photos and art work that goes in the frames hasn't all arrived yet. And don't worry everything is double mounted and velcrowed to the wall.