How things have changed in a few days. Let me start with yesterday, day 5, Friday. The morning FSH injection was the same as the 4 before it with no big deal.
I headed to the fertility clinic in the pouring rain for my 2 o'clock appt. I waited almost 30 minutes before I was ushered back to the ultrasound room. The wait was actually good because I was trying to organize my thoughts and remember what I wanted to say to the doctor. When I got into the room I did the usual routine and put on my floor length paper skirt and sat on the edge of the ultrasound table and tried not to forget what I had just tried to remember.
The doctor came in by himself first and asked how I was and I smiled and said ok. He said I had a nice white smile and I immediately started tearing up and led with, "Doctor there are some things I need to say to you. When Justin and I left here on Tuesday we were very disheartened, and upset.". Did i mention that everytime I am in a confronting situation or nervous situation i cry? Not sure why, but it just happens. So here i am in tears trying to sound mean and angry and the doctor looked at me and said, "Was I an asshole on Tuesday? Well if he wanted to put it that way, and I shook my head yes with a giggle. So I continued through the tears, "We chose you because we liked your personality, and thought you were very personal, and Tuesday you didn't seem to know our case at all.". I went on to mention my blood work that we never heard results on, the severe endo statement, and everything else that I didn't understand that he had said. His first response was, "I'm sorry. I think out loud and that is a fault of mine. I do have lots of patients, but i do know each persons chart backward and forward. Just because I might not know it that moment because I have seen 6 patients before you doesn't mean I am not putting lots of time and thought into your case. And I'm sorry if I was an asshole."
In the meantime the coordinator walked in and chimed in with some jabs towards to doctor trying to make me laugh. My tears finally stopped and we got to work on the purpose of my visit. The doctor said the results of my 15 vials of blood that I had given had come back and I do not have the disorder, disease, whatever it is that causes reoccurent pregnancy loss. Ok, check one good thing! He also said my FSH level had come back at 3.2 from the blood test I had Wednesday which is a good sign. All I know about that number is you want it to stay under 9 to be normal.
Then he did the ultrasound. He started with my right side again and my right ovary still has between 3-5 visible follicles that are very small. Soooo, not good. There has been no new follicles or growth of the ones that were seen Tuesday since I started the first med, Follistim. He then tried to find the left ovary with some difficulty again, and noticed maybe 1-2 small ones on that side, but he wasn't positive about those because it was so hard to see. Apparently my left ovary is very high and tucked in between some other stuff, ugh! Great!
So here is what he said. Start your second stimulating medicine as planned tonight. We are going to up your dose of the first med the Follistim to the max, 225IU per injection.(Twice a day, so 450 per day). We will do a blood draw today to check your levels and then take both medicines all weekend and Monday morning and come back Monday at 9am for another ultrasound/blood work appt. He said if we don't see any growth of more follicles by Monday or Wednesday we will need to have a conversation. Here come the tears again!
Then I had to go have another blood draw. Really can this day get better? Since I am a sissy I asked one of the nurses who is super sweet to hold my hand while I had my blood drawn since Justin wasn't there. She said absolutely! The nurse had a hard time finding my vein, ugh, I mean really!!!
So I drove home from the appt crying my eyes out. I can't imagine going through all of these shots for 7-9 days just to have to cancel everything. Ok, stop thinking like that and just try to stay positive. I called my mom on the drive home and pretty much cried the whole time. Its amazing how moms always know what to say to make you feel better! Thanks mom! I also called Justin and told him everything since he couldn't be there and he was also trying to be very positive and supportive. I have also decided on a phrase that I hate, "If it is meant to be, it is meant to be.". I think maybe I have said this before, but I hate it because it doesn't actually mean anything! So please don't say that to me. Ha!
Ok, so on to the evening I injections. Wow, I am not sure if it is coincidence or not but the order they give the injections seems crucial. The Follistim is 95% pain free. This next injection we started Friday night, yea not so much! I actually mixed the vials, yea I know, I couldn't believe I did it either, but there is no needle involved, only this plastic cap thing that punctures the vials. So we did the new 225IU dose of FOllistim first, and then we prepared the second one called Menopur. The needle for the Menopur is about the same gauge but a little longer and in a normal syringe. Ok, so here goes the second injection, YIKES! About the same bee sting from the needle, but the medicine burns!! Not horribly bad, but bad enough that I almost jumped. I did a little wiggle pain dance around the kitchen after the shot which surprisingly made the pain better, he he!
So today is Saturday and boy how things have changed in a few short hours. We woke up this morning at 650am to do the morning injection of just the Follistim. The Menopur is only an evening injection, the Follistim is morning and evening. Anyway, we did the injection like normal and within 10 seconds of doing the injection I got super dizzy, nauseous, and clammy. I immediately laid down on the ground because I thought I was going to faint, and then quickly had Justin help me to the bathroom just in case. The feeling went away within about 5 minutes and I thought it was weird because I have been taking the Follistim for 3.5 days now and have never had this happen. We went back to bed this morning and we woke up about 10am and I felt fine. We got ready and wanted to go out and get some breakfast before we went to a relaxing couples massage at 12:15. I called the coordinator on the way to breakfast and told her what happened, and she said sometimes that happens when u start taking higher doses and also adding the Menopur to the equation. We headed to breakfast and we were sitting waiting for a table and again I started feeling dizzy, light headed, and nauseous. We left immediately, called the massage place and canceled and headed home. I went and laid down immediately and felt really tired. I slept for about 3 hours this afternoon and just woke up. We will do the evening injections again tonight and hope for no side effects. The coordinator said to call her again this evening to check in. So it looks like I might be home bound for a couple days if the side effects continue because I am not allowed to drive. Let's just hope all these side effects mean something good is happening on the inside!!
IVs-2
Blood draws-4 Vials-20
Needle pokes-8
I ache for you Jenny. Praying still.
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