Day 1 of our IVF cycle started last night (Monday Sept 5th). I was instructed to call the coordinator as soon as the cycle started so that she could let me know what our next steps were. So I called her around 8pm, and I informed her that my cycle had started and she said ok, then you will begin doing your injections on Wednesday morning. And I responded by saying, "Ok, well when and how do I get those medications?" The coordinator said, "You didn't get your medicine? No one ever called you to get your payment and send you the meds?" I told her I hadn't heard from anyone. She then continued for the next 10 minutes to express how angry she was at some guy named Oscar at the pharmacy who was supposed to call me. And she kept repeating herself over and over. Honestly, I am not sure if she had had some cocktails earlier in the evening or what!? At this point it was obvious to me nothing was going to get accomplished during this conversation, so I just told her we would figure it out tomorrow. She continued to blame it on Oscar as I hung up the phone thinking to myself, well if she would have called me and verified that I had received the medicines last week, we wouldn't be in this predicament. I was totally unaware when and how I was supposed to recieve the medicines, so to me it seemed like she dropped the ball by not following up.
So this morning, Tuesday Sept 6th, Justin and I went into the office for a pre-scheduled ultrasound/blood work appt. When we arrived one of really sweet nurses named Jennifer took my blood pressure and weight. We then waited about another 20 minutes and then were were told to head to the ultrasound room where we would see the doctor and have the internal ultrasound performed. The doctor came in after about 10 minutes and he and Justin immediately began chatting. I on the other hand, clothed from the waist down with only a large paper towel didn't have much to say, can you say akward! Anyway, the doctor began talking about Justin's blood test results and said well it came back that he has a serious disease/illness...... um, um, ok, what??!! And then his next statement was this, "Well when anything like that comes back we immediately re-test it twice and turns out the test was wrong and it was a false positive. So actually Justin is totally healthy and doesn't have anything wrong with him. Um, um, ok? Really great way to start the conversation doc! And honestly why do you tell people these things if the test results were wrong? Just to scare the crap out of people and see their facial reactions? Funny joke!
Then the doctor starts chatting with the nurse/coordinator in the room and mentions that he needs to do this certain "thing" because I didn't have a D&C procedure done. "Whoa, whoa, whoa," I said. "What are you saying? I need a what and why?" I then said, "I had a hysteroscopy and D&C performed by YOU, 3 weeks ago!!!" And the doctor responds with, "Oh yea, ok we don't need to do the "other thing".
Ummm, ok did I just tell the doctor what procedure he had performed on me? Shouldn't he know these things, my history, my infertility issues, procedures HE performed, etc?? Now I am starting to freak out! Then he started the internal ultrasound, mentions something about my lining looking good, and then says this, "Oh yea, you have bad endometriosis don't you? (as he is staring at the screen)." Ummmmm, once again I piped in with, "Well actually NO, I was told I had mild endometriosis, but not on my reproductive organs."
And his response was, hmmm, ok. Once again, freaking out!! Is there something you are seeing, that you want to mention, doctor?? Have you ever looked at my chart or history? Do you even know my name? I wanted to say all of these things, but as I mentioned these situations are very intimidating, embarrassing, and your brain seems to float away from you at times. He finally made it to my right ovary and found 4-5 follicles. He said this is a low number of follicles. He then tried to find my left ovary with no success. After about 5 painful minutes he caught a glimpse of it and very quickly said he didn't see any follicles on it. It seemed a little too quick of a look to judge or count, but hey what do I know? Well wait...... apparently more about my medical history than my doctor at the moment. I asked what this follicle count number meant and he said it is low and I asked if the medicine I was about to begin taking tomorrow would help create new follicles and he said yes. So that was hopeful!
After the doctor left the room I left my oversized paper towel skirt behind and I was told I was done for the day. I honestly don't think I could have taken anything else today considering the level of frustration I was at with the doctor's knowledge of my case. I mean really? I was relieved that I didn't have to deal with a blood draw and a needle. I was told I would start the FSH folllistim injections tomorrow morning (Wednesday) and I would do them twice a day 7am and 7pm until otherwise directed. I was also told I would need to go to a Lab Wednesday morning at 830am for a blood draw to see how my body is initially reacting to the medicine. The doctor also said I would need to come back to the office on Friday for another internal ultrasound and blood draw. Well the only time they had was 2pm on Friday, so I had to take off work. I had planned on taking off work Monday Sept 12- Monday Sept 26th, so it just looks like my medical leave will start a couple days earlier than expected.
I picked up my medicine after work this evening from Walgreens and they were really great about only giving me the smallest amounts at a time because it is so expensive and you don't want to get stuck with medicine you don't need! Let me just say for 3 days of 2 of the medicines it is $1200!!! Crazy!
So tomorrow morning Justin will become my needle adminstering buddy for the first time. Do I think he is a little nervous? Yes. Am I nervous? I think everyone knows the answer to that.
But on Friday you can bet your ass I am headed in to the office and I am going to have a serious conversation with the doctor, just him and I. I have written down my frustrations from today, and all the other questions I have. Because we deserve a doctor who knows us and knows our case. I don't want to feel like a number or something on an assembly line. I really didn't think after our initial consultation with this doctor that this is where I would be right now. Frustrated and confused, and angry! So tonight as I go to bed, I thought my anxiety would be more about this needle waiting for me at 7am (and the one at 830!), but my anxiety now has turned to questioning our choice of doctor and his staff, and putting all of our hopes and dreams into the hands of someone who probably doesn't even know my name.......UGH!!!
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