I like good news!

Who doesn't right? Well we went to the doctor this morning and that's exactly what we got. The doctor did the ultrasound and saw 7 follicles!! Yep that's right, 7!!!!!! 3 on the right ovary, 2 which are decent size and 4 on the left side, 2 which are also decent size. The doctor was very encouraged as were we! He said that my theory with the trigger meds in December might be the key to all this success we are seeing this cycle because it would have taken those meds in December this long to trigger new follicles. So I guess there was a good reason why we were pushed back to this cycle! He said he would call it the Naber theory and was considering using it on 2 other patients who have my same issues. So yay for speaking up and having input on my own health issues!

He said seeing this many follicles at this stage for me could also be attributed to the new meds. It's hard to say what is causing the success so far, but I am just thankful for whatever it is!

So what's the plan? I will continue on the same meds until Wednesday morning when I go back in for another monitoring appt. If things are looking good we will be looking at harvesting the eggs sometime between Friday and Sunday. Then we have a big decision to make.

The doctor discussed with us today the thought of freezing our eggs that we harvest this month and then waiting 2 cycles to put them back in. Why would he want to do this? Well studies have shown that women who have low egg reserves like myself have higher pregnancy rates if all the egg stimulating drugs are out of their system before putting the embryos back in. The issue is this. If we get 3 or fewer good eggs, the freezing and thawing process has the potential to destroy some of these, which would leave us back where we were last round, with the possibility of having 3, 1, or none. So do we take the risk and freeze them and wait till the drugs are out of my system because the drugs could also destroy the few embryos. The other side of the coin is we get 5-7 good eggs and in that case we have more eggs to work with and a better chance of more surviving the freeze, thaw. So this decision will probably be a last minute one based on the number of eggs harvested.

I am feeling a little dizzy and nauseous today. Not sure where that is coming from, but it's a little annoying, so once again I am at home resting. I started taking the prednisone pills yesterday so maybe that's it? Who knows!

On a side note Justin had to get his FDA blood work panel done today, so he got a little torturing of his own with the needles. He he! I had to get blood drawn too, but only 1 vial, but of course I still needed my hand held.

I am just so grateful for the good news because it makes all the needles, dizziness and nausea worth it! I'm sure you pregnant people can relate!

Jenny

Bruising and crying

Well I have learned each time we do this everything is different and I feel different so I have learned to just go with the flow and the side effects as they come. I feel much more tired this time around almost to the point where I feel like I could fall asleep standing up at certain times. I have also had a stiff neck a couple mornings that I have woken up and a slight headache that lasts most of the day.

My stomach is starting to get pretty knotty and sore, well pretty much bruised. The only shots that still give me some trouble right now are the Menopur ones I do at night that burn when the medicine goes in. Tonight was the second one this round of those and tonight I felt light-headed for a bit after the burning stopped. Last night it made me cry. But if I'm being totally honest, I think I am getting a little better at taking all of them, but my heart still beats a little faster before I get injected and I still can't look at the needle.

Overall I just feel drained and for me that's weird because I am not doing much these days and I hate feeling lazy like I haven't done anything, but when you have no energy there's really no choice in the matter.

Emotionally, I don't feel mean or angry, but I do cry at anything close to a sad or really happy moment in a movie or show. I feel like the crying thing is more prevalent this time, so it must be from the new drug?

My mom sent me a DVD last night of a bunch of old home movies of me as a baby and WOW it was very cool to see. Not to brag, but I was a pretty cute baby and it made me want even more to be able to use my own eggs. It was a bitter sweet thing to watch while going through this process. But it was so cool to be able to see my grandparents (whom are deceased) holding me as a baby in full flesh and blood. Yes, I cried when those images came on the screen. My grandma Rosamond especially got me tearing up because she died quite awhile ago, so it was so cool to see her smiling face again.

The best part of the video was seeing my mom with me as a baby and how happy she was and always smiling, as was I. It was crazy to think that she was right around the same age I am now and how much she looked like I do now. I just hope that I can have that same happy experience she appeared to have in the videos. Ok, great now I am crying again just thinking about the video. Ugh, the joys of hormones!

So we are headed in to the doctor at 8am tomorrow morning for an ultrasound and blood work to see where we are at. Fingers crossed for lots of big follicles!!!

Jenny
Needle pokes: 90
Blood draws: 13 Vials: 37

Ok yes we have officially begun again!

I was thinking this morning about all my favorite movies and how they all have happy endings. So I have this high expectation that that is the way real life is too. And I am hoping this time around we get our happy ending cause I don't want to be disappointed or disappoint any of you (my friends and family) any more either.

So I went to the doctor this morning for the initial monitoring appt, which as I have mentioned before is the usual ultrasound and blood work. Justin had a board meeting so I was on my own for this one. The doctor was running late and so I ended up sitting in my paper skirt for 30 minutes. Luckily I had my phone and lots of apps to keep me busy. Thanks Pinterest! Anyway, the doctor came in and immediately did the ultrasound. I have 2 follicles on the right and 4 on the left. So a total of 6. I am totally happy with that!! The doctor seemed happy with that too. It's funny because every time I go in to get an ultrasound I always have this crazy thought that the doctor is going to look on the screen and go, "holy shit you have 12 follicles" or some crazy high number like that. But I am starting to realize that probably isn't going to happen so if 6 is my highest number starting out, then I just have to get crazy excited about 6.
I asked the doctor about the change up in medicine to Lupron and he said pretty much what I thought he would say. If something didn't work great with one medicine (ie. we only got 2 mature follicles, 1 embryo last time) then lets try something different. One new thing I found out about my protocol that I am NOT happy about is I have to go back on the steroid Prednisone starting on saturday. That is the one I took for 6 months while doing IUI, and then stopped taking it abruptly last June and my hair started falling out. It is the same small dosage I was taking before too. But what can I do? I can't refuse to take it, so I guess I'll just continue to use my shampoo, rinse and leave in oil hair loss treatment and hope that it counteracts the effects of the steroid. Ok, so got that all covered.

Now on to the sucky part. I found out Justin and I both have to do our FDA blood testing again. Apparently it's required every time you go through a new IVF cycle. Well I decided to get mine out of the way today because it's lots of vials, ugh! It was actually kind of funny though because everyone there goes and gets prepared for me to get a lot of blood drawn. One person gets the snack and juice, one holds my hand, one talks to me and the nurse draws my blood. It's a bit hilarious! But I am grateful for the support. Anyway I survived 6 vials and it's over for now!

So for the next 3 days we will continue on the meds and start the steroid pill and Menopur Saturday. I will be doing the Lupron and Follistim in the morning and Menopur and Follistim in the evening. So that's a minimum 4 shots a day because half the time the cartridges run out so you have to do 2 shots of the Follistim. Not fun!

I will be hibernating for the next week or so, because I am not sure how my hormones and emotions will react to these new drugs and I don't want to frighten anyone besides my husband.

Monday will be our next ultrasound and blood work appt to see how big and how many follicles we have. I am hoping all 6 are there and have grown big. Also Justin will get to get torchered a bit and have his FDA blood work done. Ha ha!

Ok, I am ready to be a pin cushion again. Here we go!

Jenny

Here we go......I think!

Well, we are somewhat officially on the roller coaster again.  I say that because today is cycle Day 2 and we have started a new drug protocol, which requires me to start taking the new drug, Lupron on Day 2.  So I got on the horse this morning and got my first injection.  It wasn't too bad except for afterwards it stayed hard in the spot where Justin injected it for like 20 minutes which was a new experience and weird feeling.  Anyway, we will head to the doctor tomorrow morning at 9am for our first monitoring appt to see what is going on inside my ovaries, with the hope that there are lots of follicles that we can work with and make them grow bigger.  I will do 2 morning injections tomorrow, one of the new drug, Lupron and one of the drug we have done before, Follistim.  I will also have to do blood work at the doctors office, ugh!

If for some reason he doesn't see any follicles or not enough follicles then we might not continue, so that is why I said we somewhat officially started this round.  But if we get the green light tomorrow and have lots of follicles, I will be so happy!  As I mentioned my doctor decided to switch up one of the drugs in my protocol to Lupron.  Apparently what Lupron does is shut down your LH and FSH hormones, so that they can chemically control them with the other 2 drugs, Follistim and Menopur (which is added into the mix around cycle day 5).  We were using Ganirelix in our last protocol, and I am not sure what the difference is except that the Lupron you start taking very early in the cycle and the Ganirelix you take like starting on cycle Day 8.  I can say I do like the needle much better that we use for the Lupron.  It is much smaller and goes in easier.  The Ganirelix needle was so hard to push in my stomach.  Ok, yuck I just made myself nauseous with the image of that! Sorry!  I also don't know the reason why my doctor changed the protocol, so I will ask tomorrow.  But I am assuming the reason is that well, it didn't work great last time (because we only had 2 follicles, 1 embryo), so why not try something different.  Remember people this is an art form, NOT science!  Ha!

Ok, so I am thinking positive thoughts and lots and lots of follicles!!!  Please do the same!  Much appreciated!

Jenny

Another delay

Well, sorry again for not writing sooner, but the continuous disappointments and set backs with this process sometimes prove to be more than I can handle and sometimes I just don't want to repeat in writing bad news.  We once again have been pushed back on starting another IVF.  We were scheduled to start again in the January cycle, but my body had other plans.  My cycle started a week early and threw everything off.  We were out of town and also the doctor was on vacation for a week, and I would have been way to early to be included in the the January group, so they pushed us back to February.
The doctor isn't sure why my cycle got so screwed up and came so early.  It could be those 3 days of Follistim injections we did on that cycle threw my body out of whack, but there is no way of really knowing.  So we must move forward.  I will not be doing any sort of injections this cycle (or as I call it testing my theory), because the doctor just wants to try and be as natural as possible, so that I can be included in February and don't get another early surprise and then have to be pushed back again.  So much for my theory, huh!?  We won't know if I was right or not because we were unable to do an ultrasound due to the fact that I couldn't get into the office to see how many follicles I had.  And we don't want to test the theory again this cycle for fear of getting pushed back again.
So again, we wait patiently for February to arrive and my body to cooperate.

In the meantime, we have expanded our family in the furry way.  On Sunday we rescued a 4.5lb teacup chihuahua from some people who were going to put her down for no reason.  The couple was elderly and being put into a nursing home and due to ignorance the couple and their grandchildren thought that was the best solution.  Well we swooped in just in time and got her.  She is about 7 years old and a very happy tiny little girl.  We are calling her Pickles.  She is going to need some work to get her healthy, but I welcome the distraction from the whole IVF process.  Justin and I are so happy to have her as a part of our family and I think she is grateful to be out of that situation.

While we wait "patiently" for our human children to arrive, we will enjoy the love and happiness of our 3 furry girls.

Jenny

New Day, New Approach

Sorry, its been awhile since my last entry.  After getting a negative result I had to crawl into a hole for a few days and sort out my thoughts.  I am now in the process of getting out of that hole and moving forward.  But man what a ride!  I can definitely say this first full IVF cycle has opened up a new world of emotions.  Happy, sad, mad, angry, back to happy, hot, cold, well mostly hot, crying, laughing, and that was all just one hour of a day during IVF.  Needless to say, I am ready to try it all over again.  

So we met with the doctor on Monday because he wanted to have a re-group meeting to see where to go from here.  Wait, back up a second.  The day I found out the negative result the doctor called me that evening and we spoke for about 45 minutes.  And through my tears I was still able to ask him some important questions that had been on my mind.  I said, here's a thought.  In September we were canceled because the birth control pills messed up my cycle, and basically we thought I wasn't even on the right days to stimulate, after we had already stimulated with drugs for 6 days.  But the cycle after September we did an ultrasound just to see what was going on and there were something like 9 follicles present.  Then the cycle after that, we did another ultrasound and I had something like 5-6 follicles.  Then the December IVF cycle we started with 4-5 follicles, but only ended up with 2 by the time it was time to harvest them.   Sooo, here's a thought, what if......the drugs you gave me in September stimulated and woke up follicles for the next cycle which is why I showed 9 follicles and concurrently 6 follicles.  The doctor stopped talking on the phone and said, "No one has ever asked me that, or thought of that."  He also said he hadn't read anything or any studies about this, but that it didn't mean they weren't out there.  So fast forward to our Monday meeting.

The doctor says, well here is what I would like to discuss.  And I stopped him cold.  I said, "don't even start going there with the donor egg conversation, because I have NOT given up on my own egg supply yet and I don't want you to either."  He looked at me and said OK.  I said here is what I would like to do.  I want to be an experiment of sorts for you.  I want to make a wager that if we walk into the ultrasound room right now and look at my follicles that I will have 6 or more.  I then reminded him again of my theory of taking the stimulating drugs for a couple days the month before you plan to do IVF and how I believe it is waking up follicles for the concurrent cycle.  He said ok, let's do an ultrasound and if you have more that 6 follicles right now for this cycle, your theory may be correct, since you just were on the stimulating drugs from this most recent attempt.  So I marched into the ultrasound room, Very confident I might add.  The nurse coordinator came in and asked what our new plan was and opened the chart to see the notes from the doctor about what we had just discussed in his office.  Funny thing was, he didn't write down a single thing!!!!!!  She looked at me and started laughing and said, NO REALLY, what is the plan for you guys?  I just looked at her and said, well... we have a little wager on a theory that I have, and if my theory proves correct, this will be unlike any other plan you have probably had here.  

Paper skirt on and here we go!!!!  And how many follicles did I have you ask????  6!!!!!!  Yes, that's right 6 follicles!  So the doctor looks at me and says, ok we are going to test your theory.  I will do IVF on you again in January with your eggs.  And here is what we will do.  I am going to give you 3 days worth of stimulating drugs right now and you will inject them for the next 3 days.  Then we will proceed in January with an IVF cycle and see if we get more follicles and hopefully more eggs.  He said if your theory proves correct, he will definitely take it into consideration when treating "poor responders" like myself in the future.  I said, "well when you make it big with your research, name the study after me.  And also I want half of the profits!!"  Ha ha!!

He said he has never tried this before, and probably hasn't heard of anyone else trying it for a couple of reasons.  The biggest reason being that anytime you give a woman the stimulating drugs, the CDC considers it to be an IVF attempt.  (And everything has to be reported to them.)  Well in our case we aren't attempting anything this cycle, just trying to wake up more follicles for next cycle.  So to the CDC it looks like a failed IVF.  And this looks bad for the clinic and the doctors overall success rates.  Especially since my age group (under 35), has the highest success rate, doctors want good numbers, not failed ones.  Another reason this might have not been attempted by many or any is because the drugs are so expensive.

So for experimentation purposes, they gave me some "sample" drugs for free, and I am not in the December IVF group, and no money has exchanged hands.  So I guess you could say I am an "under the table" experiment of sorts?  And I am totally ok with that.  

We started the drugs Monday after our appointment and have done them twice a day since then.  Tonight will be my last injection for the experimental portion.  Then I will just go on like normal until my cycle starts in January, and then we will start up again with the full IVF. 

I am feeling very excited.  I like that our doctor genuinely listens to my ideas, and doesn't just act like a know-it-all doctor.  I am excited for the possibility that I might have an idea that might help other people in my situation.  I am even more excited if my theory gets us pregnant.  Maybe I should go to medical school? I know I have mentioned it before, but naaaah, I'll just keep advising the medical community one brilliant idea at a time.  Ok, maybe I am getting ahead of myself, but hey at least phase 1 of my theory has proved to be true twice now.  That has to say something.

I don't think I will have much to report until we start up again in January.  In the meantime, I hope everyone has a Merry Christmas, Winter Solstice, Hanukkah, or what ever you celebrate, and a Happy New Year!  All the best things are coming in 2012, I can just feel it!  

Oh, and please please keep those positive thoughts going, cause I know the more people we have thinking good thoughts for us the better!  That theory has to be true!

Jenny

73 Needle injections

12 blood draws 31 vials

3 IV needles

Not sure what to say...

I went in for a blood test to see if I was pregnant this morning and got the results back this evening about 6pm......

I am not pregnant.
I'm very sad.

I don't really have anything else to say.

Jenny